Did everyone here know that I'm an Ass?? And that I cause all the problems? Ohhh and that I need to keep my fucking mouth shut? That I bitch about nothing? And that I start all the shit??
Did you know that? Well, according to the fight that my husband and I had last night, it's all me. It's always fucking me. I knew I should have kept my mouth shut...but do you ever just KNOW that your not supposed to do something but yet, you can't stop yourself from doing it. I KNEW I was probably starting trouble when I simply ask him to do something. I KNEW that he wouldn't do it before I ask and I KNEW that a fight would probably ensue. But...do you think I just kept my mouth shut and did it myself. (Even though I did end up doing it myself anyway) Of course I didn't, even though I KNEW all of the above, I still did it. Why?? Because I'm an ASS!
Things have been going too good lately, so it's time for it all to go to hell. And of course, not only do I start something, but I start it with HIS Family there....(not like that can EVER be avoided) but last night, it was his WHOLE family, sister, her kids, brother, his girlfriend, mother in law, niece....you name it, they were there.
You know....I'm just tired of all the shit. I'm tired of me having to do everything. I'm tired...fucking tired. I stayed home for three days to be with our son as he had all these tests done. I did as much around the house as humanly possible during that time. But do you think any of it is ever enough? No....never.
I went to the hospital ALONE. Just me and my son. Because my husband worked all night the night before we were to go to have the MRI done. Did he try to reschedule it? No. Did he try to go with me? No. He said, I'll still go with you. But did he? No. He came home @ 4:45 AM that morning. I'm getting up to take a shower and he says "what are you doing up?" I said well I woke up when you got home and I have to be up in 15 minutes anyway. I ask if he was going with me...."yes, i'm going, just let me lay here a few minutes" and I knew good and well if he went to sleep it was over. And that was that.
The fight last night was over the fact that I ask him to go get our son from baseball practice. He kept hee-hawing around about it and then he ask his sister to take him to get our son. Well I got pissed. She was needing to get home because her kids still had homework to do and my husband couldn't even get up, get in the car and drive over there and pick him up?? So needless to say I got pissed and jumped in the car and left. That's when I got told that I was nothing but an ASS!! What-the-fuck-ever. I'm just tired of it always having to be me. Me....picking up son from baseball, ME....going to all the ballgames. Now, Husband wants son to sign up for wrestling, and guess what will happen then, it will be ME taking him to practices two days and week and ME going to all the matches. I just don't understand why my husband can't make an effort to want to go to these things. Baseball games especially. Out of the season, he's been to two games (and didn't stay the whole time for either one of them!!) Fuck, I know someone has to work, but can't you take off once in a while to see your damn child play baseball??
Ok, i'm getting pissed now the more I write, so I better stop.....
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
3:51 p.m. - October 07, 2004
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